t.A.T.u-"200 Km/H in the Wrong Lane" Review

What’s not to like about this band? They’re two impossibly cute, Russian lesbian school-girls who have girlish voices and cute Europop to match. Well, at least that’s how their Svengali manager packages them anyway. Well before this album’s official release, t.A.T.u became a somewhat inescapable worldwide phenomenon late-2002, making headlines not just with the gimmick of lesbianism, but the fact that everyone involved was so earnest in making sure everyone knew who this band was. This publicity push helped get the singles on the radio, most notably “All The Things She Said”, accompanied with a video that milks band members Lena and Julia for all their cuteness and innocence—so much so it borders on being creepy. However, cute images don’t make good records, and all that chatter surrounding the image of this band no doubt takes precedence over the music. And that’s too bad, because there are actually plenty of good songs here. To start, we have the best track, the insistent “Not Gonna Get Us”, and this leads us into “All The Things She Said”, which is suggestive enough on its own without the wet school-girl image to accompany it. We then delve into two ballads, the stunning “Show Me Love” (no doubt an anthem for the LGBT community come next year) and “30 Minutes”, which makes the most out of the listless vocals of the girls. Predictably, “How Soon Is Now?” makes an appearance, executed in the same pop- heavy style that you’d expect from producer Martin Kierzszenbaum. Past this, we have one more song worthy of attention, the surprisingly progressive “Malchik Gay”, which blends acoustic guitar with Pro-Tools and some thick dance beats for good measure. After, we encounter one final ballad “Stars”, and then the last three songs are simply Russian remixes of the beginning tracks, as well as the pretty good remix of “Show Me Love”. This last stretch of the record isn’t necessary in the slightest, and its only purpose is to fill out the disc’s running time, but all things considered, this is a sort of beguiling debut that is much better than t.A.T.u’s gauche gimmick led us to believe. It certainly has its setbacks—Julia and Lena might have cute voices, but when fed through the computer are flattened, piercing, and chipped—but as a whole, it’s an easy to enjoy set of hollow Europop. Since the only thing that “200 km/h in the Wrong Lane” tries to achieve is the gimmick of two lesbian Russian school girls, is there really anything else this album needs to be successful?

Recommended Tracks in Bold:

1. Not Gonna Get Us        2. All The Things She Said             3. Show Me Love

4. 30 Minutes                       5. How Soon is Now?                  6. Clowns

7. Malchik Gay                  8. Stars                                              9. Ya Soshla S Uma

10. NaS Ne Dagoniat           11. Show Me Love (Extended Remix)

Will They Ever Release New Music?

Some artists just have a hard time staying afloat. Either they drown in the sheer volume of their success, or they scored a few big hits, made a couple albums, and then fell by the wayside as new artists started to make headway. Then there's those pesky record labels, often times an artist has a certain vision that doesn't fit what their label wants, so this results in a conflict that can take years to resolve. Today, I bring before you a handful of artists that have been absent from the music scene a little too long (if you ask me, anyway). They've promised new music is on the way, yet have not made good on it yet. This is most likely no fault of their own (or they're just taking their sweet ass time), but still, the question remains: will these artists ever release new music?


1. JoJo
Popular: 2004-2006
Last Album Released: "The High Road" (2006)
Last Hit Single: "Too Little Too Late" (2006)
If you can remember her, JoJo was the young starlet who broke out with "Leave (Get Out)" when she was only 13 years old. From that point, she became a palpable presence on the radio, and she starred in movies such as "Aquamarine" and "RV". After "Too Little Too Late" subsided sometime in 2007, fans were anxious to see where she was headed next. Well, that hope soon turned into wishful thinking, as JoJo began a monstrous feud with her label Blackground Entertainment, mostly on the direction for her new album. She couldn't even release another single until 2011's "Disaster". It was enough to get the ball rolling, and JoJo appeared in a face wash ad soon after, but it wasn't enough to actually get another record in stores. Ever since, she has scrapped the album she was working on for over five years and has also split from her label. She promised new music was coming sometime in 2013, but it never came to pass.

2. Michelle Branch
Popular: 2001-2004
Last Album Released: "Hotel Paper" (2003)
Last Hit Single: "Breathe" (2004)
Surely you must remember the young teenager who brought you such hits as "Everywhere" and "All You Wanted". Her unique blend of singer-songwriter and pop/rock music made her a favorite with critics and the public. She was able to follow up this success with "Hotel Paper" in 2003, though its singles didn't hit as hard as her previous album. She was featured on her second Santana collaboration, "Feeling You", soon after, and then she formed a country duo with friend Jessica Harp in 2006. Known as The Wreckers, they released on album in 2006, it launched a couple singles, but soon subsided. Since then, it's as if Michelle Branch has disappeared, as The Wreckers disbanded and she has yet to release another full-length record. She too was able to release a minor hit in 2010, "Loud Music", but it didn't generate enough buzz to mark a comeback. She also promised a new record in 2013, known as "West Coast Time", and she promised a return to pop/rock, but for reasons unknown, that record hasn't made it to press.

3. Enya
Popular: 1988-2008
Last Album Released: "And Winter Came" (2008)
Last Hit Single: "Only Time" (2001)
Ah yes, the mastress of contemporary feel-good music. Now, Enya is notorious for extended gaps between albums, however, those gaps have never exceeded five years. Now that it's 2014, a full six years have elapsed since her last record, which is kind of worrisome. Like Michelle, Enya has been very quiet lately, having her management drop the hint of a new album sometime in 2010, but has since given no update on any new music what-so-ever. I think it's because I adore her music so much, that I am on the edge of my seat for when she finally does drop a new album. I mean really, no one makes music as good as she does.

4. Missy Elliot
Popular: 1997-2005
Last Album Released: "The Cookbook" (2005)
Last Hit Single: "Lose Control" (2005)
Yeah that's right, I like me some Missy Elliot, the hip-hop heavyweight that broke barriers in the late-90s. She and Timbaland produced several well-sound, well-written, and well-organized records that all went platinum in the US, and she released some ground-breaking music videos and singles. Her career was on fire until the mid-2000s, when "The Cookbook" eventually cooled down, and she was struck with the misfortune of Graves disease. Due to this, she took some time off from music to focus on her health. However, in 2011 she started to start the talk of a new record, called "Block Party". She talked about it for while actually, until 2013, then she disappeared like the rest of the artists I've mentioned. Neither she nor her management have given any tips of a new album, so we're left to wonder if it will ever materialize.

5. Shania Twain
Popular: 1995-2003
Last Album Released: "Up!" (2002)
Last Hit Single: "Forever and For Always" (2003)
Ahhhhhhhh!! I love this woman! Say what you want about her, but I think she's the bomb-diggity! And in all honesty, it's been waaaaay too damn long since she's released an album of new material, it's time for her to return with the big, country-pop that she made ubiquitous in the late-90s. She did once talk about setting up a new record, but that was all the way back in 2008 or so. Nobody in her team has commented on the possibility of a new album since July 2013, and Shania has been an obscure figure in pop culture since her greatest hits compilation in 2004. I mean, she can always come back with new music, No Doubt waited 11 years to drop another album and it was actually quite good! Please come back Shania!


Well, that's all for today, feel free to let me the know the artist you want to make a come back!

"Human" by Maestro (Song in Progress!)

So I've been gone for awhile, wanna know what I've been doin? Working on music of course! After writing "Alone", I also wrote two more songs, one of which I'm sharing with you today. This song is called "Human", which I wrote to describe the feeling when you've fought with monsters in your life, and in the process you became one yourself. The chorus is basically "I wanna be human again". While I continue to churn away at music for "Alone", I actually have "Human" all finished! Well, a rough draft anyway. Any constructive criticism is welcome! I'll work on getting the music posted!

Lyrics-

Verse 1:

I was always kneeling

I couldn’t stop bleeding

When I lost my way at night

I tried to rid the fear

You left me lying here

You left me broken down inside

I will remember that feeling

Staring up at the ceiling

Wondering “how did it get this far”?

Now the course has veered

And the monster’s here

To finally make its way right out of the dark

Chorus:

I wanna be human again

I wanna feel it again

I wanna be human again

Let’s be human again

Verse 2:

I almost stopped breathing

When I couldn’t stop sleeping

And was fading into the light

But with my mind so dear

I could wheel the steer

And refuse to give up the fight

I will remember that feeling

With the stars at the ceiling

Wondering “how did it get this far”?

Had just broken dreams

Bursting at the seams

And wanted nothing but to hide all the scars

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:

Human again

Let’s be human again

Human again

Repeat Chorus

Let’s Be Human Again (repeat)

Human (repeat)

Gwen Stefani-"The Sweet Escape" Review

While there was certainly an artificial quality to "Love. Angel. Music. Baby" that lead to its high sales and successful singles, there was also an essence of brilliance to it, as it rode on Gwen Stefani's new height of stardom while pushing her music forward, past the new-wave confines of No Doubt. All of this hit a fever pitch at the start of 2006, so with another successful album in the books, and the birth of Gwen's first child, she's really at no rush to make another dance-pop push with her second album "The Sweet Escape". If the plainspoken title is indicative of anything, it's that while her debut solo album brought her to higher levels of success, there was also a certain taste of dissatisfaction with how it sought to fuse two jarringly different parts of her music persona. This time around, she decides to integrate all the elements of that album into a more coherent sound, more focused on hip-hop and R&B, rather than dance-pop. 

This at first might seem like a drastic change, but it's odd, because while there are certainly more "Hollaback Girl" echoes here--the autobiographical "Orange Country Girl", the stuttering, irritating "Breakin Up"--"The Sweet Escape" is decidedly right in line with Gwen's passion for fashion and wallowing in the current club culture trends. Essentially, she just added a few more Neptunes productions, she beefed up the ballads, and she by and large ditches the dance-pop. The only track to manifest itself into a club banger is the album's best track, the closer "Wonderful Life". Produced by Tony Kanal, it recalls the high school sentimentality of "Cool", but also combines the new-wave comforts of "The Real  Thing". This is not the album's only stunning moment, however: per the usual, every one of the ballads stand out as highlights, whether it be the other new-wave confection "4 in the Morning", or the comforting chill of "Early Winter". These are the songs that reaffirm Gwen's musicality, due in part to the fact that they were tailored for domesticity. When "The Sweet Escape" escapes to the streets, its anything but sweet. The album's worst track, "Now That You Got It", is a rhythm-heavy Swizz Beatz concoction that, much like "Breakin Up", just sounds to thin and repetitive to grate. Gwen slightly stumbles in the freakazoid sex song "Yummy", with she and Pharrell nonsensically rapping about tetris and their respective fashion lines, but she saves herself once again with her willingness to be weird, even if it means falling flat on her face. This is perhaps the only moment on "The Sweet Escape" that takes a sonic risk like those in "L.A.M.B", so you can't really hate it for attempting to re-create that aesthetic. Other than that, there's nothing else that really brings this record down: it still offers a solid collection of stylish and hooky songs, whether it be the ingratiating "Don't Get It Twisted" or the purest piece of Prince-styled pop, "Fluorescent", Gwen proves that she can pull the same trick twice. While nothing here hits like "Hollaback Girl" or "Rich Girl", "The Sweet Escape" is no doubt (no pun intended) a more consistent album, one that's not quite as embarrassing, but is still as fun and as sexy as anything she ever recorded in 2004.

Recommended Tracks in Bold:
1. Wind It Up                       2. The Sweet Escape            3. Orange County Girl

4. Early Winter                   5. Now That You Got It       6. 4 in the Morning

7. Yummy                              8. Fluorescent                       9. Breakin Up

10. Don’t Get It Twisted 11. U Started It                    12. Wonderful Life

Gwen Stefani-"Love. Angel. Music. Baby" Review

If the trippy album cover and stuttering album title are any indicators, it's that Gwen Stefani's new status as a dance-pop queen is here to stay. Even better, she's managed to snag the Harajuku girls from Japan to accompany her on her quest. Actually, the song titles are dead giveaways of her new-found sound: "Rich Girl", "Hollaback Girl", "Cool", "Luxurious" for starters. All of this, along with her hypersexualized (and cutely disturbing) music video for lead single "What You Waiting For?", and it's not hard to tell that "Love. Angel. Music. Baby" is too club-centric, too heavy on electronica to have been released at any other time in Gwen's career, let alone with her back-up band No Doubt. With all of the activity happening on the surface--ranging from a chorus built around "Take a chance, you stupid ho" to teaching us how to spell bananas in the standout Neptunes track "Hollaback Girl"--there really isn't that much more to discuss. For some odd reason, however, Gwen felt the need to add the morose, macabre closer "Long Way to Go", which features Martin Luther King Jr. samples and quite frankly ruins what's otherwise a whirlwind of sexual innuendo and a hodge-podge of fashion in frothy dance-pop.

What this ultimately proves is that while Gwen's passion is to lead the clubs, it doesn't mean that she's always successful. Most often, she far more impresses with what she plans to achieve rather than what she accomplishes--see "Harajuku Girls", which tries desperately to pay homage to Gwen's new style heroes, but comes up short, stumbling over its clumsy Japanese asides and lack of a catchy hook. So unfortunately for us, Gwen's 'state-of-the-art' is not hip, trying ever so hard to set new trends like Madonna or Kylie, but with the hearty roster of collaborators here, she covers far too much ground to do justice to any movement in its entirety. So why is "L.A.M.B" such a fantastic record? Basically it comes down to this: while every song here can induce a withering cringe, more than not, it's intentional. Gwen fully knows that creating a whole song around a car metaphor in "Crash" is silly, while her shallow ode to wealth "Luxurious" has her not taking things too seriously, and it opens the album up, inviting the listener into its celebration of skimming club culture and celebrity lifestyle. Other than this, her genuine moments of love and affection are indeed quite moving, such as the new wave high school anthem "Cool", or the album's best track "The Real Thing", which boasts a perfect 80s production also in the new wave vein (this isn't a coincidence: while she may be foraying into dance now, Gwen's heart will always be in her new-wave ska roots of the last century). Besides the truly awful closing track, this record is about as poppy as pop albums come in 2004. That's not to say that it's as consistently entertaining as, let's say "Breakaway", but it also provides more fun music than that record, or any record of the year. After given the dark lust of "Confessions" and the harsh confrontations of "Encore", it's refreshing to see at least one artist having some fun.

Recommended Tracks in Bold:
1. What You Waiting For?     2. Rich Girl                        3. Hollaback Girl

4. Cool                                     5. Bubble Pop Electric          6. Luxurious

7. Harajuku Girls                   8. Crash                                9. The Real Thing

10. Serious                              11. Danger Zone              12. Long Way to Go

Selena Gomez & The Scene-"A Year Without Rain" Review

Of all the teen Disney actresses turned singers of the late 2000s, Selena Gomez seemed like she would've the least bit of success. Sure she had an easy-to-market image like Miley or Demi, but her voice wasn't all that distinctive, nor was her music that much different than her competition. Her debut "Kiss & Tell" barely cracked the top ten upon its release (in comparison, Miley and Demi both reached the top of the charts with their first albums), however, it proved that Selena might have some staying power--"Kiss & Tell" ended up charting longer than either "Breakout" or "Don't Forget". So, to capitalize on this surprising success, Selena's team decided it was time for the follow-up, one that was more measured, more assured than her sometimes naive debut. That's the story with all sophomore albums, and "A Year Without Rain" certainly fits the bill. Actually, just looking at the album jackets give this shift away: whereas "Kiss & Tell" featured many photos of a punk-princess Selena, "A Year Without Rain" portrays her as a shiny, state-of-the-art dance artist that's decidedly more mature than she was a year ago. Nothing says grown up quite like having Toby Gad produce two tracks while RedOne helms another. And while Demi was the cornerstone for Selena's debut, now her rival Miley is the touchstone for "A Year Without Rain". However, besides these notable differences, the end product doesn't really change Selena's sound that much at all. Her voice still hasn't gotten any better, and while the drums and guitars were able to drown it out on her debut, this record isn't as forgiving. Tearing a page liberally from Miley's electro-pop makeover with "Can't Be Tamed", most of the tracks here alter Selena's voice with various vocoders and processors, which in turn make her flat and distorted. This is nowhere more apparent than in "Spotlight", a dance number that is catchy, but also has Selena's vocals cipher at the ears with all the comfort of a tooth pick. Also around is Gomez's tendency to strive for notes she can't quite reach, which is bearable in the lovely title track, but also a detractor in the aforementioned "Spotlight". The over-use of auto-tune is also another hindering factor, as it really doesn't do any song justice, not even when Eric Bellinger drops by and assists in "Intuition". Predictably, the best cuts on "A Year Without Rain" are the songs that rely more on sound than Selena, such as the Rock Mafia produced "Off the Chain" and the frothy, fun closer "Live Like There's No Tomorrow". The latter track suggests the biggest problem with this record as a whole: Selena may be working with some different collaborators and exploring new territory, but her desire to make a hot dance record like "Can't Be Tamed" is often heavy handed, because of the simple fact that this record takes itself far too seriously. True, the ballads are stronger and there are some killer dance tracks on occasion (RedOne breathes much needed life into the new-wave "Summer's Not Hot"), but "A Year Without Rain" is too somber to really get the adrenaline pumping like her last album. There's a big difference between excellence and ambition, and Selena has her strength in the latter, with only proves that she has potential. Now the question is, where will she go from here?

Recommended Tracks in Bold:
1. Round and Round             2. A Year Without Rain    3. Rock God
4. Off the Chain                  5. Summer’s Not Hot         6. Intuition
7. Spotlight                             8. Ghost of You                      9. Sick of You
10. Live Like There’s No Tomorrow

Nelly Furtado-"Folklore" Review

2003 has been a hotbed for sophomore efforts (Dido, Michelle Branch, Peaches etc.), so it was the perfect time for Nelly Furtado to produce the follow-up to her turn of the century success "Whoa, Nelly!" In the three years separating that album and Furtado's latest "Folklore", she won a couple Grammys, sold a few million records, and even had a child. So just like last time, she wastes no time on subtlety: she's now a mature, wise, and accomplished artist who should be rightly recognized as above her peers, both artistically and musically. This heightened sense of self-importance might seem condescending, and to a certain extent that's exactly what "Folklore" is, but it's also key to remember that the sweet, young girl who sang "I'm Like A Bird" is still here, so her intentions, no matter how misguided they may be, are still good-natured, so it's hard to get angered at Nelly for wanting to flex her muscle, now that she's a star. 

So where does that leave "Folklore"? Well, unlike "Whoa, Nelly!", which began with a fast paced orchestral intro, the opening track "One Trick Pony", begins with a warm, classical string quartet that immediately segues into country-fied world-pop. That pretty much sums up the rest of the record, as it usually just blends folk-y elements from around the world into one muli-cultural affair (this record's title is apt, even if it is a bit static). However, that doesn't mean that it's alienating; actually, "Folklore" tends to be a warmer, more contemplative listen than its predecessor, so we actually have a front row seat into Furtado's psyche after she was faced with such a huge success. True, this is typical of all sophomore albums, but no artist has ever been this blunt about it in recent years, especially in pop music. That right there is enough to set this record as one of the finest releases of 2003, but also to Furtado's credit is that she still hasn't abandoned what made her a star in the first place. Her knack for hooky and memorable arrangements remains fully intact, so some of these songs hit even harder than they did three years ago--see "Powerless (Say What You Want)", a song too worldly to be played on US radio, but still boasts an impeccable sense of fun and style. What sets "Folklore" back is that once again, just because Nelly is more mature than she was three years ago, doesn't mean she belongs in the high esteem she so desperately tries to get. Ironically, despite her opening statement that she's not a one trick pony, she ends up repeating herself alot on this record. Hell, by the third track she's already given away every song's subject, musical structure, and approach. The only exception to the pattern is the wonderful "Fresh off the Boat", which like her 2001 hit "Turn Off the Light", features a lower-slung, funky groove that lightens things up for a good three minutes. Still, the same fusion of world-beat and adult contemporary in every track makes "Folklore" drag, and by the mid-way point, the album appears to be twice as long as originally projected. Make no mistake, this is a very good collection of songs, and every one has glimmers of largely impressive moments (such as the closer "Childhood Dreams", which makes the most out of its atmospherics, even if it does overstay its welcome). However, as a cohesive record, "Folklore" falls far short. Maybe all it needs is a change of sequence, but more likely, Nelly could use the effervescence of "Powerless" or "Fresh off the Boat" to invigorate all of her songs, since they show that the charming, humorous girl who won over millions in 2000 can still take herself with a grain of salt. Without it, her songs are just no fun to listen to, even if they do sound good.

Recommended Tracks in Bold:
1. One Trick Pony   2. Powerless                         3. Explode

4. Try                          5. Fresh Off the Boat          6. Forca

7. The Grass is Green 8. Picture Perfect                    9. Saturdays

10. Build You Up       11. Island of Wonder              12. Childhood Dreams