"I Kissed a Girl" fell out of the sky somewhere in the Spring of 2008 (nine days after Madonna released her garish "Hard Candy", make of that what you will), but the mastermind behind this surprise hit was, in actuality, lucky to have had a song serviced to radio at all. Based off that song alone, it's easy to assume that Katy Perry (once named Katy Hudson) will do anything to get attention; looking into her long history of botched attempts at stardom prove this suspicion true. When her eponymous 2001 debut failed both commercially and artistically, Perry spent the next half-decade tearing through two record labels and many high-thread producers to give her the mainstream presence she craved. She was able to get people talking sometime in 2004, but this buzz wasn't enough to actually warrant another record, so a major re-think in her career was necessary.
Unfortunately for us, her breakthrough happened in the age of "The Hills", where Heidi Montag is the model of popularity. Since she worked so hard to find the right collaborators, it's not surprise to hear Katy Perry giving into Montag's gay-baiting, Vegas debauchery, and gender-bending just to get this record in stores. Indeed, she somehow manages to pack every reprehensible aspect of this decade into twelve tracks, all ranging from kissing girls and not liking girls, telling her lover that he can't afford her, comparing her inadequate lover to a mannequin, cursing for no reason, and dropping designer names as if they were going out of style. Even more so, it's no blessing that Perry hired Butch Walker, Dr. Luke, and Max Martin to gloss these songs with every modern trend available. Under their influence, Glen Ballard (the man behind "Jagged Little Pill") and Greg Wells assist in constructing a masturbatory daydream, all with many provocative premises but none of it actually arousing. And make no mistake, "One of the Boys" may have the biggest hit-makers of the last century on board, but they're high-thread confections actually work against the purpose of this record, which was to put Katy Perry at the top of the mainstream pack. Since the lyrics are repugnant and the production flat, they turn this into a washed-up, faceless wall of sound that try to tip the balance into making these songs seem less offensive than they are. Needless to say, it doesn't work, at least not in the way it was supposed to. There's nothing wrong with wanting to push boundaries and make it all sound innocent (Lily Allen's "Alright, Still" being one example), but the sad thing is, "One of the Boys" isn't breaking boundaries by providing old-school drum machines and synths to accompany such lines as "Ur so gay and you don't even like boys" or "I want to break the mold...leave my fingerprints". The latter is the most problematic, because Perry really could have produced something ground-breaking here. She writes with sharp detail and knows the strongest names in big-budget pop, but not one aspect of this record breaks the mold, it fits the mold. This will ensure that this music plays in the background of movies and malls, but beyond the superficial, "One of the Boys" is not only disappointing, it's just plain embarrassing. Coming from a woman with a Christian background, it's tragic to hear her sink to rude and craven depths just to acquire fifteen minutes in the spotlight. Maybe if the music was as appalling as the lyrics, then Perry could get away with it; the record would have a junky thrill. But this is a pop record, so these songs grate upon the first listen and don't give any reason to sit through a second one. But in the end, congratulations to Katy Perry, because she's finally the mainstream trollop she wanted to be, even if it meant tarnishing her name, and pop music, in the process.
Recommended Tracks in Bold:
1. One of the Boys 2. I Kissed a Girl 3. Waking Up in Vegas
4. Thinking of You 5. Mannequin 6. Ur So Gay
7. Hot n Cold 8. If You Can Afford Me 9. Lost
10. Self-Inflicted 11. I’m Still Breathing 12. Fingerprints
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